Ups and Downs

Last weekend, Micah seemed to be improving.  Just after the last post, his need for oxygen went way down... to the point where he was breathing room air, but still had his cannula pushing air into his nose!  How awesome that was!  The staff allowed me to begin nursing, too (even though his breathing was still irregular).  I thought he started out great, and so did the nurse!  We tried about every other to every third feeding.  They said that learning to breastfeed can be exhausting for these little guys.  He would sometimes sleep through his next feeding after nursing. 

He didn't get a whole lot of milk, but was just learning what to do.  Of course he still got his usual tube feeding.  They even decided to switch his tube from his mouth to his nose so that he could get a better latch.  That did seem to make a difference. 

Unfortunately, it seemed like he was swallowing a lot of air during our sessions.  Halfway through his tube feeding, he would suddenly spit up and gag a bit. 

He also ended up needing more oxygen saturation and went back to a higher air flow :(  All this, combined with my post pregnancy hormones was a little too much for me.  I realized that I needed to get away from the NICU for a period of time.  In addition, I wasn't nursing really at all as his stats were dropping.  I called Eric and told him what I was feeling, and he agreed that I should leave and spend my first night at home since I left to deliver Micah.  The nurses in the NICU agreed that it might be a good idea, too.  What gave me comfort was that nurse K would be there the next day, and another nurse I was familiar with would be there that night. 

Eric was so great about it!  He called my dad (who now lives in Green Bay), and asked if he would be willing to pick me up and drive me home.  An hour later, my dad pulled up in front of the hospital in his yellow Corvette!  Thanks, Dad!

I was able to relax at home, spend time with Levi, and snuggle with Eric.  The overnight gave me the break in routine I thought I needed.  I even had time to organize a little bit in preparation for bringing a baby home! 

The next afternoon, I drove back up to the hospital, feeling better... until I visited Micah.  He hadn't improved at all.  It was so discouraging to me!  The nurse K said that she'd let the doctor know that I was there so she could talk to me.  All I could do was pray, "Lord, help me!  Lord, help me!"  I felt like I was about to start crying right then and there!

The doctor said that Micah's new chest x-ray was no worse than the last one several days prior.  She said he probably has inflammation in his lungs and that sometimes bigger babies (for gestational age) have a tougher time recovering.  Today, she also told me that his blood cultures came back normal and that there is no additional infection that she may have missed. 

I didn't have much to say to the doctor at that time as I was just trying to hold it together.  I did, however, break down a bit with nurse K.  She said she'd be praying for Micah, too, as we are
 a special family to her.  She really didn't have to be so kind, and I'm so thankful for her!



After a late Tuesday night bath.  The crazy hairdo is due in part to the residual tape glue still gunked in his hair!

Today, Micah seems to be doing a bit better.  He's on less oxygen and less flow of oxygen.  I'd really like for that to keep up :)  He also has a rash on his bottom and some thrush in his mouth, which is mostly due to the antibiotics that he finished up on Monday night.  Thankfully, another super awesome nurse removed the IV that was in Micah's scalp.  The only issue with that is that there is a bit of a blister on his head from a complication with the IV.  These aren't really serious issues, but are just annoyances more than anything.  The thrush might impede his breastfeeding and could spread to me.  I'll be calling my doc tomorrow to help prevent that by using a special cream. 

He did start to breastfeed a bit again, but I'm really taking it slowly with him.  He still seems to swallow a lot of air, but latches on well (as far as I can tell).  I'd like to see him improve his overall health before hitting nursing more vigorously. 

Because of all of that, I'm probably going to be heading home for a couple of days.  Eric and I can always come up to visit in the evenings, and I can move back into the family accommodations when Micah is ready to be nursing on a regular basis.  Hopefully that will be this weekend. 

It would be so nice if he was home for Father's Day on Sunday, but its really not looking likely at all.  Eric's birthday is on the 18th which would be a great birthday gift as well.  Maybe that is more doable.  I can't wait to introduce Micah to all of the people who have been praying for him!  More than that, I really long to be a complete family!  Alena and Levi haven't been able to visit Micah, and won't be able to see him until he comes home :(  They ask about him all the time, and see me pumping.  They know about him, but have no reality to put with it!

It'll be nice to be able to take Micah outside and snuggle him without the incessant beeping of one monitor or another in the room.  Or the wires that seem everywhere!  Just do normal things, like being sleep deprived, or taking a nap together.  Eric reminds me that our time will come before I know it!  He also reminds me that things could be a lot worse! 

Smiling for Grandma Hawkins on Wednesday evening!

 

My mom came over to Green Bay today, and brought Alena back with her.  Eric also came up in part to retrieve Alena, but more importantly to see and hold his son!  It was nice to have my mom stay overnight with me and I'm sure Micah appreciated having more loving hands holding him.  Thanks again to everyone in my life that is helping me to juggle all of the balls that are in the air!